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AskPhilippa


 

How to Find Your Perfect One

Dear Philippa,

I am writing to thank you for helping me meet a wonderful woman. As a personal trainer I really got caught up with the idea of meeting women who had the perfect look. The trouble was all that those relationships just went nowhere. I took your advice and started thinking about what I really wanted in someone and I met her! Sherrie is such a sweetheart. We laugh a lot and have tons in common. We never stop talking. She isn't in perfect shape and she wants to lose a few pounds but I told her she's great just the way she is. Thanks again.

�Clay, Long Beach, CA

 

Dear Clay,

Can I clone you? There are several thousand women out there who would love to meet someone like you. And there are just as many men who would like to find a woman who would fall for their personality and heart instead of the less than perfect body or bank balance.

I can hear boos from the people in the audience who are really into fitness. Hey, I'm one of you too. I think working toward perfection in yourself is fine if that's your thing. It's when we focus on the other person's perfection, or lack of it, that the trouble happens. Look at all the beautiful people in Hollywood who are marrying every minute and divorcing almost as fast. We all need to remember that having perfect looks is no guarantee of happiness.

Yet we all tend to pursue people with a certain look. Sure, certain types of people ring our chimes more, or so it seems. The human animal is a result of conditioning. You date a few tall brunettes who are very affectionate and after a while you'll be looking for only tall brunettes. I call it typecasting. My husband and I did that when we met. He wasn't my lean, athletic type and I wasn't his tall, water enthusiast. He thought I was too short and perky. Imagine that! Once we got past the packaging we realized that we really liked each other. Then we really found each other attractive.

Clay, you hit the nail on the head when you talked about how much you enjoy each other's company. To laugh and talk with someone and to be able to just be yourself is a wonderful basis for building a great relationship. The chemistry kicks in naturally when you have this kind of thing. It takes guts to step away from societal pressure and focus on what really makes you happy. Sherrie's a lucky lady.

�Philippa

 

 

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